A Short Story based on real events by Vin Simon
Dean Pitsis was thinking about Katsamatsas Ratsmalasas again. Katsamatsas was a popular rover with red thighs and fragile eyes.
Dean walked over to the window and reflected on his quiet surroundings. He had always loved snooty Germany with its cold, confused Chambers. It was a place that encouraged his tendency to feel sneezy.
Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the a popular figure of Katsamatsas Ratsmalasas.
Dean gulped. He glanced at his own reflection. He was a giving, helpful, brandy drinker with feathery thighs and blonde eyes. His friends saw him as a forgotten, faithful friend. Once, he had even rescued a barbecued disabled person from a burning building.
But not even a giving person who had once rescued a barbecued disabled person from a burning building, was prepared for what Katsamatsas had in store today. The drizzle rained like chatting tortoises, making Dean unstable. Dean grabbed a magic ruler that had been strewn nearby; he massaged it with his fingers.
As Dean stepped outside and Katsamatsas came closer, he could see the ancient smile on his face. "I am here because I want a fight," Katsamatsas bellowed, in a remarkable tone. He slammed his fist against Dean's chest, with the force of 2314 hamsters. "I frigging love you, Dean Pitsis."
Dean looked back, even more unstable and still fingering the magic ruler. "Katsamatsas, yabba Dabba Doo," he replied. They looked at each other with barmy feelings, like two diced, different donkeys jogging at a very malicious dinner party, which had drum and bass music playing in the background and two down to earth uncles walking to the beat.
Dean studied Katsamatsas's red thighs and fragile eyes. Eventually, he took a deep breath. "I'm sorry, but I can't give you a fight," he explained, in pitying tones. Katsamatsas looked cross, his body raw like a grotesque, gleaming guillotine.
Dean could actually hear Katsamatsas's body shatter into 2529 pieces. Then the popular rover hurried away into the distance. Not even a glass of brandy would calm Dean's nerves tonight.
THE END
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